Saturday 21 April 2007

She's as Nad as hell at Jesse - 21st April

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007180519,00.html

"The GIRLS ALOUD singer was furious after the actor was snapped holding hands with another girl... I've decided the Desperate Housewives love rat has to go straight in at No 1 in my Shaggers League."

Riiiiight, so now in VickyWorld, holding hands constitutes a shag? Is that why we never see Jesse's right hand in photographs, because he has a penis growing on the palm?

4 comments:

faberge egg said...

Taken from the first edition of the Newtster's Jedine story...

A close friend said last night: "Cheating is something Nadine will definitely not stand for. etc etc

"She loves him but she's not going to let him take her for granted. She's a fiesty Dublin girl who will not stand for it."

My... that close friend must be really close - so much so she doesn't actually know where her bezzer Nads hails from...

James said...

Bless her, you have to love Vicky's deluded sense of self-importance. "I've decided the Desperate Housewives love rat has to go straight in at No 1 in my Shaggers League" she growls, in the threatening tone last employed by Homer Simpson as he told his just-collapsed chair "Alright Econo-save, you just made THE LIST!".

It's a little embarrassing, the way she dishes out these rulings and as if she was the Queen with an honours list. It's not a millions miles away from her other tragic habit, attributing nicknames to celebrities ("From now on, I'll be calling her LAZY Lohan", etc), presumably thinking that these will slip into popular usage (which they do, if by 'popular usage' you mean 'A couple of tinpot local radio breakfast-show sidekicks and nobody else').

In her mind, does she imagine people down the pub excitedly saying "You'll never guess who's top of Victoria Newton's Shaggers List"
"Is it Justin TROUSERSNAKE?"
"No, guess again!"
"Oh God, please just tell me! I need to let the wife know"

Spodo said...

She's made a story about robbie williams getting his wikipedia page altered. This happens to loads of people and isnt that newsworthy.

i wonder what she'd make of her own Wikipedia page.......

truestepper said...

She also commented on Cheryls 'new tattoo', except its not new, its an old one.